


I've Missed you for so Long

by WinterWolf773



Series: Bispearl 2019 [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bispearl Week 2019, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 07:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17844773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterWolf773/pseuds/WinterWolf773
Summary: Bispearl Week 2019Prompt 1# I’ve Missed you for so Long…





	I've Missed you for so Long

Pearl smiled as she neared The Forge.  It had been a long couple of days, being a dutiful little pearl to not stand out as Pink met with Yellow and Blue to try and appease their demands to hasten quashing the rebellion.  The three Diamonds had met, promptly sent all pearls out of the room, and they deliberated for three days without rest.   Her fellow pearls had been distant as usual with her, only talking to each other in hushed whispers.

Pearl tried to not let it bother her, it was better for her to have as few attachments to Homeworld as possible after all.  Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder what it was like, after seeing all the rubies and quartzes commiserating with each other, they all got along well with other gem types too of course, but there was something special, some deeper about the unspoken bond between the friendships and love that formed within groups of the same gem.

Pearl would never have that.  Not with who she was made for and the fate of Pink’s original pearl that she had replaced.   It bothered and frustrated Pearl more than she liked to admit.  It wasn’t _her_ fault after all.  _She_ didn’t decided who she was created for, or who she belonged to.   Pearl laughed at herself as these thoughts swirled in her head and caused tears to form.  She wiped them away as she stood at the entrance to The Forge.  As soon as she collected herself her brows furrowed, the tunnel down to Bismuth’s workspace was not warm and inviting as it usually was.  In fact, it didn’t look like the lava was even activated. 

Panic struck her, had Bismuth been found and attacked?    Pearl was always telling the rainbow haired blacksmith she needed at least one other gem to help protect her if Homeworld ever found the rebel weapons workshop, but Bismuth always laughed it off with her signature, “If Homeworld shows up here, I’ll show them who really means bismuth.”  Pearl summoned her spear and silently entered, listening for the idle chatter of Homeworld guards, or signs of a struggle.  Instead, all she heard was crying, and the gem’s voice was all too familiar to her.

“Rose?” Pearl cautiously called as she entered the anvil room, spear tentatively ready to strike.

Rose gasped as she turned and faced Pearl.  The look in her eyes was indescribable, but Pearl sensed profound sadness and something else, regret maybe?

Rose wiped her tears away, “P-pearl, what are you, oh of course, you and Bismuth are quite fond of each other.”

Pearl blushed, she had nervously told Rose about the growing intimacy between herself and Bismuth, scared Rose would find it a betrayal, and though Rose had embraced it with excitement, and even encouraged Pearl to continue pursuing Bismuth, it was still odd to hear it said out loud.

Rose took in a deep breath, “I…I came to discuss with Bismuth about weapons for the new recruits that haven’t discovered their own weapons.  I,” Rose looked away as she continued speaking, “I didn’t find her… and then I just, became overwhelmed.  With all the pressure from Yellow and Blue, how this war is dragging on and so many gems are getting destroyed and I just-” Rose looked back with fresh tears running down her face, “what if everything I’ve ever done is absolutely wrong?”

Pearl dissipated her spear, she was a little concerned that Bismuth wasn’t there, since they had agreed to meet, but it wasn’t unlike the gregarious gem to get distracted, and her desire to comfort Rose overrode all her other thoughts. Pearl didn't get a chance to see Bismuth before the next battle. Once the Ziggurat had been defended, Pearl thought she would never see her again.

*****

Pearl stood inside Pink’s Palanquin.  Bismuth had been back, had been okay, and all those years of dread anytime she faced a Corruption before spotting the gem, worried she would learn the insanity had ultimately claimed the weapons master, seemed so far away.  Then Steven had returned with her gem in a bubble.  Bismuth had made a weapon to shatter Pink, and Rose and bubbled her for it.  Bubbled her and never confided in Pearl.  Perhaps she worried Pearl would hate her, or maybe Rose had been so saturated with guilt and regret for all the lives claimed in the war and yet the impossibilities of ever being herself to Homeworld she had just shut down.  Pearl would never know Rose’s motivations, could never know now.

Pearl clenched her fists as she stared at Pink Diamond’s throne.  It had been right here, so many years ago, she had made the decision to pretend to shatter Pink Diamond, right here that she had been silenced for so long.  At first the secret was light, no more heavy than the myriad of other secrets Rose and Pink confided in her.  Then the war ended and all their friends were Corrupted and it began gnawing at her.  She repressed the feelings deeper and deeper, but the heavy chains bit into her mind tighter and sharper as more hidden truths surfaced. 

This though, this Pearl didn’t know what to do with.  Garnet couldn’t have known how deep into her heart the order to leave Bismuth in the bubble had cut.  She couldn’t have known the key to so many mysteries was locked away in Pearl with those simple words Pink had ordered so long ago.  Garnet couldn’t have known how much Pearl wished she could pop that damn bubble and explain everything, so she could have Bismuth back.    Mostly though, Pearl didn’t know what to do with the anger towards Rose.  How dare Rose hide something so important about a gem she knew Pearl adored so much?

Pearl dug her fingers into her hair, none too gently, and screamed.  Tears blurred her vision as she crumpled to her knees.  How was she supposed to deal with this?   She wasn’t even over missing Rose and now, now Bismuth was so close to being back and yet…gone.  Pearl didn’t know how long she stayed there, wallowing in despair and rage.  Eventually though, she stood, and marched on, like she always did.

*****

Pearl had been purposefully avoiding alone time with Bismuth.   Since Steven had brought her back for the wedding and told her the truth she knew Bismuth must hate her, and she couldn’t handle that at the moment.  Pearl was surprised when Bismuth found her reminiscing at Rose’s Fountain.

“O-oh, “ Pearl blushed, “my apologies, I’ll just,” she stopped trying to speak and walked away.

Bismuth stopped her with a giant, but gentle hand to her slender frame, “W-wait, don’t go.  I, I came here hoping to find you.”

Pearl started crying, “Oh Bismuth.”

Bismuth moved in front of her, worry and concern etched across her face, “Whoa, whoa, hey now, why are you crying Pearl?”

“I just,” Pearl sobbed, “I’ve missed you for so long, and now you’re here, but you must…now that you know, oh, you must hate me.”

“What?” Bismuth’s face softened into a smile, and then she chuckled and cried, “Here I thought you were avoiding me because you hate me since I went off and plotted to shatter Pink and you’ve been thinking I hate you because you pretended to shatter her.”

Pearl shook her head, “It’s more than that though.”

Bismuth wiped a tear from Pearl’s face with her thumb, “I know.  Doesn’t change the fact that hating you has never been, and never will be an option for me.”

Pearl looked into Bismuth’s eyes then swallowed hard, “I could never hate you either Bismuth.”

Bismuth tugged Pearl closed into a tight embrace, “Then how about we cast off the past and forge a new future, hm?”

Pearl gasped and wrapped her arms around Bismuth, feeling simultaneously lighter than ever and anchored in the moment from the bliss and safety that came from being cradled within those arms, “I would love to.”

 


End file.
